i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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