I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your topless pictures make me question reality
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
