I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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