so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
did i walk over a car last night?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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