I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
