I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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