You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
