on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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