Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
