just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
