he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
