The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
