don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
