new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize