Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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