I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
