i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
