Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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