it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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