you have to choose: penises or morals?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
