I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
