I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
