New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
