woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
