Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
