Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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