Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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