So drunk its hurt
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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