STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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