FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
