oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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