is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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