return my video game
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How's work?
Spinning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
