I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
