who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
