Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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