Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
BRING THE BAGELS
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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