You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
