It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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