just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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