Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
