Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize