shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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