You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
