after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
