What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
