I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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