She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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