You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
