Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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