dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize