also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
