My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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